when wearing the clothes you woke up in just has to do. Today was one of those days. L was fussy and clingy all day and was only happy when she was in my arms, so in my arms she stayed. I got frustrated for a second today at the fact that I had no “me” time at all and then I immediately felt guilty for feeling that way. I felt as though I was being selfish by wanting a break from my daughter. These days that is a constant battle in my head.
I want to have “me” time, but I don’t want to feel bad about wanting that time. I know I am a better person when I am rested, have a moment to myself, accomplish something (even if that means putting a load of laundry in), and take the time to get ready for the day. So as I was putting L to bed tonight I thought how this day was so wasted because I did not get to do any of those things…and then I felt this little hand reach up and touch my cheek. I looked down and realized she does not care what I look like, that I didn’t get anything done…she cares only that I took care of her today…that I gave her that warmth and comfort that she craved. My heart melted as I put her down to bed and now as I am having a moment to myself…I miss her.
I know that tomorrow may be better and I will get that shower and some alone time, but I will never get back today…and today was a pretty great day.
February 26, 2013
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Beautiful, kasey! I have those same guilty feelings, but it is so important to have ‘you’ time and to get away, even to the grocery store by yourself. Oh, how our lives have changed! These babies are only this little once, and being in the midst of it is hard, and you are doing great. She is lucky to have you as her mommy.