Category Archives: Thoughts


Be Still

5th June 2015


There have been a lot of days lately, where I catch myself holding my breath. When my brain takes over and becomes so congested with all that needs to get done, worry sets in, my anxiety peaks, and I forget that I have to breathe. This has only begun to happen since I became a mother and I wonder often, is that what motherhood is? Holding my breath and hoping I survive the day? Holding my breath, as I lay my little ones to sleep as not to disturb them and have to start the whole process over again? Holding my breath, as I sit down to stare at the computer and completely forget all that needed to get done during nap time (you know, that one precious golden hour that may or may not happen.)? Holding my breath, through the tantrums and tears, teething and colds, first falls and hurt feelings? When will I stop holding my breath in  anticipation of the worst scenario, and start to let go and be present for every scenario?

I have been trying to focus on being more present in the little moments, and worry about the future less. It is hard. I anticipate too much, my expectations are sometimes too high, and I constantly beat myself up over not being able to meet them. My mind wanders from one worry to the next. Is that crayon toxic? Does this cracker have gluten? What if they don’t nap today, then am I going to be pulling my hair out by days end? Oh no, my all organic ingredient deodorant has toxins that cause cancer and howdidInotknowaboutthistillNOW!!!!! What should I make for dinner tonight? Salmon sounds good. But what if L won’t eat salmon? Ah I’ll just do takeout (as I eye the mound of dishes in the sink), that will be way easier. My floor is a mess, I need to mop. I need to organize! I need to clean out the car, there are diapers in the trunk that have been there for a week.

These are the thoughts that pass through my mind every minute. This is why I am having trouble breathing, because when it gets too much I just stop. I just hold my breath and hope the moment passes with sanity.

Today, I read a verse that gave me pause. I have read it so many times before, but today, it spoke to me differently. “Be still, and know that I am God”, Psalm 46:10. As I read these words I felt myself breath out, the room became quiet, I could hear myself think, and I got it. I finally got it. He has this, HE is in control, and I am not. I can give myself permission to be tired, and breath out and give myself rest. I have permission to be still.

So during those moments that I catch myself holding my breath. I want to redirect my thinking from anxiousness to stillness. In that moment, I want to be still, and know that He is God, and He’s got this.

Our Growing Family

3rd April 2015

It has been a year since I wrote anything here. And within that year, our little family has grown from three, to four! We welcomed our sweet son Dax Rhodes, in December, and life has gotten so much sweeter since. I didn’t think it was possible to love a child as much as I do L, but I was so very wrong. This boy has my heart. He is a pure delight and I am so thankful for him.

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The adjustment in going from one to two has been stretching me in ways I didn’t think I could stretch. It has been full of joy and laughter, but also full of a lot of tears and anxiety, dark circles under my eyes, and a few more wrinkles on the forehead. That first month, I didn’t know if I could do it. I felt as though I was in this never ending fog and I didn’t know if I could keep two little people alive and thriving while maintaining some sense of sanity within myself. I am not out of the fog yet, but I am beginning to adjust to life with two, and I am able to see through those foggy days a little more clearly now.

Our life feels so much bigger! And I am truly loving every single minute of it. Keep checking back for more updates, rambles, and photos. I promise it won’t be a year till I write again.

**Photos taken by the lovely Cass of Artful Life Photography.


These Months

12th March 2014

Seconds. Hours. Days. Months. Where do they go so fast?

Our little girl is growing up before me. At 15 months she is at this incredibly fun stage of talking, laughing at silly things, and being friendly to everyone. Our days are full of blown kisses and sweet hugs. Her hair is growing into wispy curls along with her curiosity for all things. I love watching her explore and seek out undiscovered corners of her little world.

I am not the best at keeping up with milestones. I don’t have a baby book filled with firsts, but I take a lot of pictures and document our life when I can find the time.

I mostly want to remember the little things. The way her face lights up as she reads a book for the first time. The way her eyes get big as she sees  something that surprises her. I want to remember the feel of her hands around mine and the way she so sweetly nestles into my arms. Our afternoon walks, our fun adventures…I want to capture it all in my mind for safe keeping.

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I want to remember the not so glamorous things too. The nightly wakings, early mornings, the dark circles under my eyes, and the lethargic foggy feelings. I want to remember how every time I sit down to return an email or cook dinner, two little hands reach up and loud noises begin to come out of my tiny little human. The unclean floors, the dusty shelves, the always dirty dishes…I want to remember those too. They will remind me that its ok to not be perfect and its ok to let things be. Just let things be.

These are my seconds, my hours, my days…my months. Filled with ups and downs and smiles and tears. This heart is full and this life is joy.



Our Christmas Miracle

8th January 2014

Happy New Year! The Holiday season came fast and went even faster. We spent Christmas in North Carolina this year. On the eve before we were to head out of town, our dog Sophie ran off, got hit by a car, and then took off running. We spent the whole night searching for her, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. We couldn’t sleep and our Holiday travel plans were held in limbo as we tried to figure out what we would do if we could not find her.

The next morning, R got up early and continued searching the neighborhood. As a last resort he decided to drive on out to the local animal shelter to see if someone had turned her in. After casing the rows of barking dogs in kennels and taking a look at the sheet of paper listing all of last nights road kill, he pleaded with the shelter to tell him what to do. She had mercy on him and put a call out to all the people that were out in the field at the time. By the grace of God, just as she was making the call, Sophie was being picked up by animal control. She was in really bad shape. If he had not been there at that exact time, she would have more than likely been taken back to the shelter to be put down.

Animal control brought her to the house and we drove straight to the vet. After weeks of recovery and more still to go…we can optimistically say that Sophie is going to be ok. It was a Christmas miracle, to say the least. We are so grateful that she is back in our little family and on the mend.


With the help of some very good friends to watch after Sophie, we were able to continue on with our Holiday travel plans and had a wonderful Christmas in NC with family. It was extra fun because L is a year older and could actually open presents. We are back home now and settling into this new year and all it has in store.


I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you the Happiest of New Year.


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A Quiet Morning

26th August 2013

There are some mornings that need to be recorded, today is one those. First of all, I cleaned the house yesterday and there is something about waking up in a clean bedroom that immediately sets the mood straight. I also awoke to a smiley, happy baby who slept pretty good last night compared to recent nights. After a healthy breakfast of eggs, avocados, and pears…I played with L on the floor. She is getting so great at scooting and crawling backwards and then sitting herself back up. Before long she will be entirely mobile and I will miss these moments of watching her put everything together and learning these new movements. She is so bright, and I am so incredibly blessed to be her Mother. The moments when I set aside my days agenda and just relax in the moment with her are always my favorite. This morning was one of my favorites. When I went to put her down for a nap she seemed genuinely excited about it! What?? She went down easy and is STILL sleeping. I hope we have turned a corner in the sleep department, because this is nice…this quiet mommy time is oh, so, nice.

After a fun weekend, this Monday is setting the tone for a pretty awesome week. I love being a Mom.

All smiles at Sea World

All smiles at Sea World



Date night!

Date night!

Oh, Hello Again.

21st August 2013

I am back from Ohio and trying to kick myself into gear. I had such an incredible time with my Grandmother and family. It went by way too fast…as things do when you are having fun. It was the first time I had been back to Ohio since my Grandfather passed away and there was a little something melancholy and sweet about my time there. Strangely enough, it was the most relaxed I have been in a VERY long time. Ohio always seems to do that to me though, life just slows down while I am there and I always feel so at peace.

We took a 4 generations picture with my Grandmother, Mother, me, and L. We went to the zoo, went shopping, and played games while sipping hot tea. We relaxed by the pond on the swing my Grandfather purchased before he passed, and we laughed, remembered, and enjoyed good conversation.

I am already looking forward to going back…I always hate to leave.

Swinging with GrandmaSweet FaceJoyfulBlissA walk around the yardColumbus ZooZoo DayManateeFour GenerationsGrandma, Great Aunt Dorothy, and usGrandma and her Great-GrandchildGirls day out.

It’s a Monday: Positive Thinking

29th July 2013

My week is off to a MUCH better start than last week. I have decided to throw out the negative thoughts and guilt that have been accumulating over my daughters horrible sleep patterns, and to think positive and have a “just go with it” attitude. It seems to be working, so far. I cannot change how my daughter sleeps and I know that one day it will get better, so for now I am just going to love on her and keep working towards getting her to sleep, someday.
This past weekend we trekked out to the beach and played in the tide pools, had family over for dinner, and went to the zoo on Sunday. We also have made a new rule about our new Paleo lifestyle. We have deemed Sunday as our cheat day where we can have one cheat meal and one cheat dessert. That may be why my mood is a little brighter this Monday, SUGAR.

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend.
Fun at the ZOO.Rhinos

Someday I will sleep again

25th July 2013

At least that is what I tell myself at 2:30am, and again at 4:30am, and again at 6:00am, you get the idea. It has been a rough sleep battle over here as of late. It is so hard to stay positive and keep calm and patient. It is wearing me doooown, and I feel like I am not able to be the best mother I can be. Naps are a whole other battle and I literally feel like my entire world revolves around trying to get my baby to sleep. Oh the things that they don’t tell you about.

So after countless google searches on infant sleep, and countless contradicting information, I landed upon this post from Nurshable. As I read through the site, I began to feel the anxiety lift from my heavy heart and a little piece of hope crept in. I AM NOT ALONE. It is so nice to hear of the struggles that other moms face. We should share more often, and talk more about the things that we are dealing with and stop trying to appear like we have it all together. I don’t have it all together. I have the most loving, adorably sweet, baby girl whom I am lucky to spend my days with, but sometimes I just need a time out.

Even though there have been a lot of sleepless nights around here, I am trying to shift my focus to the fact that one day she will sleep, and I will sleep again…but I won’t get back the sweet moments we share in the early morning. I will miss the tiny fingers stroking my face as I rock her back to sleep. And I will miss the early morning squeals of delight signaling that she is up again. I will miss these moments I know, so for now I will cherish them. And someday, someday I will sleep again.

Five Things…

27th June 2013

…I have learned since becoming a Mom.

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1. Things affect me differently now. Stories of tragedy that have hit an unexpected family wrecks me, and I hug my girl a little closer and longer.

2. I sometimes feel like the nap-time nazi, as though my #1 mission every day is to get this baby to NAP!

3. There are some rather bland and uncreative children’s books… I mean really, how hard is it to write a children’s book? This is Ted. Ted is a Rhino. The End.

4. I google EVERYTHING. What did Mom’s do before the internet?

5. I love taking note of every new sound and movement, and how in the blink of an eye or a turn of the head, my sweet gal is growing up right in front of me and I can’t slow it down… I can only take notes and cherish every.single.moment.

Friday Love: Six Months

8th June 2013

Oh my this week flew by! My little girl turned 6 MONTHS yesterday! Hard to believe she is half a year old already. Crazy. She is sitting up pretty well, teething like crazy, starting to form little words, and loves to pull herself up by holding on to our fingers. She is amazing.


This weekend we are going on a mini staycation to the resorts down by Disney. I am looking forward to playing in the pool and just relaxing a bit for a couple of days. What are your fun plans for the weekend?

Here is what I am loving this week:

* Fun new antique store finds.

* Gluten-free glorious morning muffins.

* These nails.

* A nice glass of wine at the end of a long week.

Have a lovely weekend!